I really never had the opportunity to say goodbye to you before you died. Unfortunately, due to an ugly incident at the funeral home, I was also deprived of the opportunity to pay proper respects then. Little did I know father, that that incident would change life, as I had known it, so drastically! It was not until more than a year had passed that I was actually able to pay my last respects and say goodbye to you.  I need to tell you that there were many things about my life, which I desperately wanted to share with you. Due to your ill health and the fact that our relationship was always strained because of the behaviors of others, I just kept my words to myself. I know father, that even now I am still unable to talk about things that have happened in my past. I am hopeful though that with hard work, determination, and support from my present family, friends, this will change. For now father, the secrets remain unspoken, however that will not be the case forever. I know my journey toward healing will be a long, hard fought battle. It is one fight that I am determined to win. Please know that although we never had the opportunity to get close, it was not from a lack of my wanting or needing you. You simply were not around much. There are parts of me that are extremely angry that you were not there for us. There are parts of me that yearn for your love, care, understanding, and protection. We needed you then and sometimes we still need you now. So my dear father, I dedicate this page in your memory. I have placed 15 butterflies here in remembrance of how long it has been since you were taken from us. You are very sadly missed father.